Preface
"The past does not define you, the present does."
-- Jillian Michaels, Personal Trainer
This is the story of my experience with bipolar disorder, which affects 5.7 million Americans, according to the National
Institute of Mental Health. It is for you, if you have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, think you may have it or you
have recurring clinical depression. The book is also for your family, friends, colleagues and employers who want to learn
more about the disease because they care for you and because your illness affects them, too.
I am a “wounded healer” as I approach
my 60th birthday, yet the word “wounded” suggests that I am a “victim.” I am not a “victim”
of bipolar disorder, a dysfunctional family, physical illness, etc, but rather a student. It is, as a friend says, my “advantage”
of having bipolar disorder. My heart charka opened when I realized that I did not have to be a prisoner of my “victimhood”—a
sentence I had imposed upon myself and laying blame on my genetic heritage and upon my environment.
I started writing the book, or at least fantasizing about it, during a major manic
episode, a day after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1993. I thought about it on occasion over the years, but like
so many other goals, I just never seemed to get around to it. One day in the summer of 2009, during a four-hour interview
with Carol Lieberman, M.D., celebrated media psychiatrist and best-selling author who found me an interesting resource for
her new book on women who commit adultery, strongly suggested I write a book about my experience with bipolar disorder. I
had the time now, in the months of recuperation from brain surgery, to write, so I did and was amazed that each word poured
from a deep well of yet un-cried tears.
One of my daily “email pick-me-ups” is from
The Universe. Here’s is one I think applies to anyone with a mental illness:
“Tom, I know what it's like. I've seen it played out a few zillion times. You're waiting for that magical day when
someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they'll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps
they'll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself,
and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life
can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence. Ahhhhhhhhhhh...
Well, I'm here to tell you, Tom, your wait is over. That someone is
you.Good thing you rock,
The Universe”
